Written by Sophie Martin. Reviewed by Dr. Phoebe Howells.

Sophie Martin has worked in maternity services for the past 13 years, ranging from Central London, to being a Lead Midwife for Antenatal Clinic services in Essex. She has a particular focus on supporting parents who face challenging paths to parenthood. Sophie is the author of The Infertile Midwife, and is also a Medical Advisor for BabyCentre UK and Emma's Diary. When she's not working, she's busy raising two young children.

Having undergone 11 rounds of IVF, I consider myself an expert by experience.

There were rounds where I treated my body like a temple, and others where I did what I needed to get through.

What I’ve learnt is that it is all about balance and moderation, doing the best that you can and not beating yourself up about the things that are outside of your control.

As a midwife, I know the importance of pre-conception care. 

It’s vital to start with the basics, which are drinking plenty of water, eating your five a day, alongside protein and carbohydrates. Getting enough sleep is hugely beneficial, as well as taking the appropriate supplements.

The NHS advises that those trying to conceive take 400mg of Folic Acid for at least 3 months before conception. Not only is it recommended for pre-conception, but folic acid is vital for a developing fetus. It helps with neural tube development and can help prevent a condition called spina bifida. Some people may need a higher dose of folic acid, so speak to your GP or midwife if you aren’t sure.

Taking supplements, which I knew were high quality, helped me feel more in control in a situation where so much control had been taken away from me. Having tried so many different supplements over the years, it did feel comforting to know the thought that had gone into developing OVUM Time to Conceive®, which had everything I needed for my follicles to grow healthy eggs.

It takes approximately 3 months for the follicles to mature, and therefore, how you treat your body before you conceive is really important, as this is the environment in which your follicles are developing. The follicles will eventually release the egg, which hopefully goes on to make a baby; therefore, you want to give your body the best chance it has.

Other things I did to support my body…

was to eat as healthily as I could, but it was important to me that I didn’t feel like I was depriving myself or on a restrictive diet. I told myself that I wanted to nourish myself, and framing it that way felt much easier. I would imagine all the nutrients reaching my ovaries and growing the healthiest eggs possible. It seems a bit silly when I type it out, but trying to conceive is as much about the mental journey as it is the physical.

I am a firm believer in balance, so alongside my healthy eating, I was and still am someone who likes to indulge now and then. After each IVF injection, I would reward myself with a square of chocolate. It was the small boosters like this that kept me going through an incredibly gruelling process. Anyone who has been through IVF will know it’s all about the small wins, and this definitely felt like one! 

With regards to exercise, consult with your Doctor, but most people are fine to continue with gentle exercise. For me, this was walking my dog, and getting out into the fresh air twice a day provided a much-needed distraction. My dog was such an excellent companion at this time, and I’m thankful to her for giving me a reason to leave the house when I could have quite easily hibernated.

As I’ve already mentioned, trying to conceive, and in particular IVF, is a mind game too, so to combat my racing thoughts, I spent a lot of time using mindfulness or meditation tools. I can be a catastrophiser, so having tools to calm my brain was essential. I also tried to only focus on things that were within my control. Could I think my lining thicker or my follicles bigger? No, I couldn’t, so I learnt to pinpoint my thoughts onto the things that I did have control over, like ensuring my body had everything it needed to make excellent eggs. Eggsellent eggs? (Forgive me.)

One of the biggest helps to me was finding a community and people I could talk to. 

Being able to share updates on my follicle scans and have someone who understood what that was like was priceless. Still to this day, some of my closest friends are those whom I made through the IVF community. Having a shared experience that very few people understand has brought us together in a way that is hard for those on the outside to understand.

My final advice for someone going through IVF is to be as kind to yourself as you possibly can. If you’re feeling tired, emotional, grumpy, fed up, worried, you name it, all of it can be put down to the hormones you are currently taking as well as the emotional uncertainty of going through IVF. Give yourself the grace to recognise that IVF is both physically demanding and emotionally draining, with no guarantee at the end.

You deserve to know how exceptionally courageous and strong you are!


All the best,

Sophie