What is the Two Week Wait?

The two week wait is the time you have to wait to see if you’re pregnant after either:

• Ovulation and sex
• Embryo transfer if you’re doing IVF or ICSI

The Emotional Aspect of the TWW

For lots of women this is a really challenging time. When you’re trying to conceive it can be a total rollercoaster of emotions, hormones and what feels like wildly uncontrollable thoughts on repeat.

Personally and for a long time, I used to dread it! I felt sick with anxiety, consumed by the outcome of what would happen. I was neurotic and so scared of how I would cope - whatever the outcome would be I just didn’t have the inner resources to support myself.

Physical Symptoms

You might feel a variety of physical symptoms which are going to completely mess with your mind (if you let it!) because a lot of the side effects from the hormones through treatment - or early period symptoms - can be very similar to early pregnancy symptoms.

You might get sore boobs, cramping, headaches, nausea or other symptoms. 

Honestly I used to drive myself bonkers wondering if various physical sensations were early pregnancy signs. The truth is, there really is no way to know absolutely for sure until 10-14 days after an embryo transfer or sex.

So, I believe it’s a far better use of our time to release the obsession and actually know what on earth to do with the thoughts which go round and round; the desperation to know and the fear.

Alice's Top 10 Tips for Coping

Here’s a few things that have really changed the game for me and many of my clients: 

1. Preparing yourself for the wait is REALLY important! We put everything else at a higher priority than our well being or mindset. It needs to be top of the list!
2. The wait is all about staying focused on what’s happening for you. Step away from the google forums, searching for someone with the same background as you with a positive result…it’s your story. 
3. Keeping yourself and your whirling thoughts in a safe, gentle, self compassionate zone is your path to staying calm and empowered. See point one! Start practicing early and get skilled at witnessing your thoughts rather than getting engulfed by them (mindfulness). Symptom spotting is an exhausting game. You won’t know for sure until you know. Hold on. 
4. Release the pressure on yourself to only think positive thoughts. It’s not normal or humanly possible to do so! Don’t worry about the idea that you have to ‘stay positive’ to get what you want. It’s far more of a relief on our nervous system to just live truthfully. It’s much, much more gentle and actually more positive to cry or scream if you need to! Focus more on presence and releasing negativity.
5. The same goes for only thinking negative thoughts to protect yourself even though this might feel like a safe option. Just being truthful with where you are day to day.
6. Affirmations are your friends. Use them (write them down, remind yourself of them daily with phone alerts and stick them on your fridge!). Replace fear-led thoughts: “how will I cope if this doesn’t work” with self compassionate thoughts “I take each step day by day; I have the support I need whatever happens” . Much more empowering and calming.
7. Be discerning with who you decide to share all this with. Sometimes it can feel a bit much when lots of people know what you’re going through as the pressure intensifies the closer you get to knowing if it’s happening this month or not.
8. Equally - it’s really important to feel supported throughout this process, so make sure you have a trusted support network in place. It’ll help you to be able to open up in a safe space where people understand what you’re going through.
9. Take this one day at a time. One hour or one minute at a time. Stay present. It can be too scary to go too far into the future and lead to more anxiety or fear. So just stay where you are day to day. See point one again: what helps you do this? It’s different for us all! Strategies help. I loved going to the theatre, reading really good books, getting outside, writing/journalling, listening to meditations…what’s on your list?
10. Finally: know that everything you’re feeling is absolutely valid. You’re not overreacting. You’re a human being and what you’re experiencing might feel really challenging. One. Day. At. A. Time.

I hope this helps a little bit to guide you through some of the things that really turned around my own two week waits and many of the women I have worked with.

It might feel impossible to ever experience ‘a wait’ feeling OK -or even enjoying it - but I know from my own experience and supporting people through my courses and membership that it can happen when we make a clear intention at the start and put that mindset and wellbeing at a higher priority every day.

Wishing everyone all the love and luck,

Alice.

Written by Alice Rose. Alice is an internationally recognised fertility mindset coach, writer, speaker, IVF mum, podcaster and advocate who helps women in the throes of infertility or loss to go from feeling lost, isolated, stuck, angry or scared to self-compassionate, emotionally intelligent, supported, free and confident.

You can get Alice's Mindset for Fertility Treatment course or Two Week Wait course all included in the Life Raft Membership. Simple, easily actionable prompts which can radically change how you feel every day.