Written by Alice Rose. Reviewed by Jenny Wordsworth.

I touched down in Paris, to spend the hottest weekend of the year at ESHRE. 

The 41st annual meeting of The European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology. It’s a chance for the big medical players in the industry to come together, present findings and research, as well as promote their services and products. 

And to attend as a previous patient who is neither doctor; trans-vaginal probe-cover manufacturer or egg bank representative…is pretty weird.

There are many medics, pharma companies, clinics, sperm banks and more with huge stalls across a vast conference centre, and thousands of people come from all over the world. With presentations, talks and networking opportunities, arriving as a fertility coach and ex-patient is a bit like going undercover while the shiny pharma teams with matching beige trainers and smart sky blue shirts make coffee for the clinics who need to buy their drugs.

So it was a welcome opportunity to sit down and listen to Sarah Banks give her talk on mental health support for patients after a failed treatment cycle.

Now, as someone who has been through this myself… 

I must say, it is incredibly gratifying to see this experience receive the proper time, attention, and spotlight it needs, especially at a conference where many of the people who could change the support experience are in attendance.  

Studying 130 participants, Sarah wanted to show what really happens for patients after a failed round; identifying what emotional needs were not being met and the recommendations going forward (you can read more about the study here).

Firstly, it was no surprise but extremely validating to see participants of the study overwhelmingly share an extremely low emotional state after a failed cycle, with 66% rating their state at just 1.7/10.

That’s…well, that’s very low.

Imagine feeling 1.7/10.

Imagine how that affects how you can do your job, be there for your partner, or even just get up and make yourself a cuppa. 

Because, as Sarah explained, the failed round is so much more than just a failed round; for some, it might be the realisation that they might not ever have a child of their own. 

The enormity of this loss is not recognised by society, which compounds it, and to top it off, the very people who should really have the information and capacity to support you at this point, your fertility clinic, well…they don’t. To be frank.

The study's average rating found that patients rated support after a failed or abandoned cycle at a fairly low 3/10. That’s a bit, well, rubbish. 

Sarah’s empathy and understanding that a clinic’s time is very stretched is, of course, an important point. But to be honest, it’s not really an excuse we can sit by in an age of seriously decent tech, which could at the very least automate an email to those patients, simply saying, ‘How are you doing after your round?’.

Sarah rightly made the point that contact after a failed cycle must be wellbeing-focused - not sales-focused, and the point should be entirely on the patient's emotional support.

And with 66% of patients surveyed agreeing they’d want a check-in from their clinic, the findings are clear: we do not have the level of emotional support needed in clinics for patients after failed or abandoned treatment cycles.

I thought this presentation was incredibly important, and I was also struck by the power of hearing Sarah’s personal story.

Information and data on patients’ emotional experiences through treatment offers fertility clinics deeply valuable information on how to improve outcomes for everyone, whether cycles result in a baby or not. 

Of course, the goal and hope is always for a baby, but clinics should know: patients talk and patients are your MOST important representatives! Not the marketing people, not the consultants, not the embryologists - sorry, love you guys, but nope.

The most important person in all of this is the patient.

And they need much, much better support.

Support for after a failed round or abandoned cycle:

Fertility Life Raft: community, coaching and live support https://fertilityliferaft.com/membership 

Fertility Action Support Groups: https://fertilityaction.org/support/

Big Fat Negative Podcast: https://www.bigfatnegative.com/ 

The Worst Girl Gang Ever https://theworstgirlgangever.co.uk/ 

Helen Davenport Peace https://helendavenportpeace.com/one